


Heaven's Arms

by ReyandKnight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Night Terrors, Nightmares, angsty cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 21:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9787226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyandKnight/pseuds/ReyandKnight
Summary: When Kylo Ren crash lands on Jakku, Luke ensures that he and Rey help Ren recover from his injuries. Unbeknownst to Luke, Rey has taken it upon herself to help Ren through his nightmares. The frequency of his nightmares has Rey wondering what could scare a man like Kylo Ren. When she finds out the horrifying truth, everything she thought she knew about Kylo Ren changes.





	

Rey waded out until the water was at her knees before plopping down into the shallow water.

_ What a mess, _ she thought.

She and Master Luke spent the past three days nursing  _ Kylo Ren _ of all people back to health. He had managed to track the  _ Millennium Falcon _ to Ahch-to, but when his shuttle descended, he lost control and crashed onto their island. His injuries were not fatal, but he was unconscious. He wouldn’t wake up until today, and when he did, he was  _ not _ happy. He was furious with Luke and with her, although he was for the most part powerless to do anything about it due to his injuries. She and Luke managed to patch up the worst of them, but due to their limited resources, Ren would have to heal at a natural, slow rate.

What would happen once he finally did heal, Rey did not want to think about just yet.

She sat in the ocean, allowing the cool water to wash away the ache in her muscles. Despite their recently acquired temperamental patient, Rey pressed on with her training under Luke. It was physically demanding, even more so than her years of surviving and scavenging on Jakku. The cold water didn’t do much for her muscles, but the weightlessness her partial submersion allowed her did alleviate some of the stress her body has been under lately.

When her fingertips began to shrivel up, she left the water, got dressed, and headed back to her hut. She stopped short when she’d almost passed Ren’s hut and heard a scream. She changed course and rushed into Ren’s cabin. She could barely make out his face in the darkness, but as she neared him, she could tell he was experiencing some sort of discomfort. She hovered over him closely, trying to discern the look on his face. Pain? Fear? She tried to shake him awake. If his sleeping condition was causing him discomfort he might not be able to heal properly.

He twisted onto his side and wrapped his arms around Rey. She yelped as he pulled her into his side and buried his face in her neck.

“Let go of me!” she struggled to get loose. She stopped moving when she felt moisture on her neck. “Ren?”

“Mother, make him go away, please!” he whispered into her neck.

Rey was stunned. He…thought she was the General? And what had him scared? “What’s wrong, R-… B-Ben?” she stuttered on his birth name.

“Make the monster go away!” he sobbed.

“Ben! Wake up!” She began shaking him harder, all to no avail. She settled for wrapping her arms around his head and cradling him. She hummed to him, a soft lullaby she’d made up for herself when she was little.  It seemed to be working, as his shaking died down and eventually he was only sniffling against her. After he seemed to fall into a peaceful sleep, Rey began to pull away. As she left the hut, she looked back at him, wondering what could be plaguing Ren.

It wasn’t until three nights later that she returned to his hut.

It was an unusually warm night, so she had returned to the coast to soak in the cool water. As she was returning to her hut, she heard Ren’s screaming again. How had Master Luke not heard him yet?

Once again she attempted to wake him and once again he pulled her into his arms and twisted himself around her. She tried to learn more about what had him scared.

“Re- Ben? What’s wrong?” she asked as she began rubbing circles on his shoulder.

He exhaled shakily against her shoulder. “H-he won’t s-stop,” he stammered.

Rey hesitated as she reached to wipe a tear away from his face. “Who won’t stop? Ben?”

“Please make him go away,” he pleaded. His shaking was starting to get out of control.

“Ben, tell me what’s wrong. You have to tell me what’s bothering you.”

He pressed his mouth to her shoulder and let out a horrible scream. Rey couldn’t wait any longer. She began humming her lullaby and rocking him gently. He wasn’t calming down, so she hummed a little louder and began running her fingers through his hair. His shaking and sobbing subsided bit by bit. By the end of it all, Rey was too exhausted to get up, so she fell asleep in his arms.

When she woke up before sunrise, he was still sleeping. She snuck out of his hut, a million questions burning in her mind. The most crucial being,  _ Ren, what has you so scared? _

This same routine continued almost every night. Eventually Rey stopped leaving it up to chance and just started waiting until Ren and Luke were asleep before she’d head towards Ren’s cabin in anticipation of his nightmares.

Every night Rey had tried to learn from Ren what was causing his nightmares, but he was never lucid enough to be questioned and he never gave enough information when he spoke in his sleep.

Staying up with Ren night after night was beginning to take its toll on Rey. She was more sluggish during her training, and she dozed off several times when she was supposed to be meditating. She never told Luke why she was exhausted or what Ren had been going through. She thought he might have been traumatized by the crash, but that couldn’t explain the vagueness of the “he” or the “monster” in his nightmares.

Then she began questioning why she even cared. He killed his father. He’d killed countless other people. He’d injured Finn. He was absolutely insufferable during the day, and he was getting stronger, becoming more mobile. At the very least he hadn’t done anything to threaten her or Luke, but she was rightfully suspicious of him while he was awake.

Maybe she came to him because she knew what it was like. She understood having nightmares brought on by trauma she’d endured. She wished she could have had someone do for her what she did for Kylo Ren. She empathized with him during these times that he was vulnerable and terrified.

So she continued to come to him every night, soothing away his nightmares only to have her vigils be forgotten by him in the morning.

Training was particularly brutal that day. From sunrise to sunset, it had been non-stop strength training and combat forms. By the time she stumbled into her hut, utterly exhausted, she had neither the energy nor the wits to think about Kylo Ren.

She woke up hours later to a loud banging outside her hut.

“Rey!” It was Master Luke, and he was frantic.

She bolted out of bed and outside her hut. Luke wasted no time in grabbing her by the arm and pulling her towards Ren’ hut.

“Master Luke, what’s wron-” she cut herself off at the sound of Ren’s screaming. “How long has he been like this?” It was her turn to be frantic as she pulled her arm away from Luke and surged ahead of him to the hut. She burst through the door and froze. Though the hut was mostly bare, there were still a few essential items usually lining the walls, now flying about. She turned her head sharply towards Ren as he let out another scream.

Rey felt her heart stop. The flurry of objects became more erratic, but more terrifyingly, Ren’s scream didn’t just scared. He sounded like he was in pain. Luke was shouting at her and trying to pull her away, but she ignored him. Instead, she braved the storm and fought her way towards Ren.

“Rey! I shouldn’t have brought you in here, it’s become too dangerous. You have to get out of here!” Luke shouted at her.

She pressed forward, dodging objects and using her limited knowledge of the Force to deflect the rest. She finally made it to Ren, who was thrashing about in his bed. She dropped onto his bed and tried to pull him into her arms.

He pushed back with the Force. “Stay away from me!” he shouted.

“Ben! It’s Rey, you have to calm down!” she pleaded with him. She forged through the chaos of flying items again to reach Ren, this time, clamping down on him immediately. She locked her arm around his head and brought her mouth to his ear. “Ben, listen to me. You need to calm down. You’re safe. I won’t let anything hurt you. Let me help you.”

Ren shook his head violently and continued thrashing in Rey’s arms. He let out another scream, and Rey flinched, half due to her proximity and his volume, and half due to the pain and fear in his voice. She pulled him even closer, as if that was even possible, and began humming her lullaby in his ear. She interrupted her tune occasionally to say more soothing words to him. The thrashing subsided, and was replaced by a less volatile shaking from his crying. He cried into Rey’s neck, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her partially under him.

“What are you doing?” Luke inquired softly. Rey looked up at him, slightly in shock. She’d completely forgotten Luke was here. “How long has this been going on?”

Rey let out a shaky breath. “For about two weeks now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Luke asked as he sat down next to Rey and Ren. He placed a hand on Ren and began rubbing his arm.

“I…I don’t know. I thought it stop once he’d recovered.” She looked back to Ren and ran a hand through his hair. “It seems like it’s only gotten worse.” She looked over again at Luke. “Do you know what might be causing his nightmares?”

Luke pursed his lips. “Maybe. Has he said anything about his nightmares to you?”

Rey shook her head. “Not much. I haven’t been able to learn much, only that he’s terrified of some sort of monster.”

“Snoke,” Luke whispered.

“Snoke?”

“Ben’s Dark master. The one he-” Luke gulped, “the one he betrayed me for.”

Rey’s eyes widened and shifted back to Ren. She wondered why Ren would be so scared of his master and why he would stay with him if he was so scared.

Ren’s crying had begun to fade. Rey wouldn’t wait any longer. “Ren, wake up.”

“Rey, you should let him-“

“I’ve been putting this off for too long, Master Luke!” Rey was hot. “I’ve been coming to him almost every night the past two weeks! This is why I haven’t been doing so well during training! And he’s only been getting worse, but if I don’t come to him, I’m worried he might get hurt!” 

\Rey drew in a deep breath to calm herself. “I need to know what’s bothering him. IT’s not doing any of us any good to let things continue like this.”

She put her hand on Ren’s shoulder and shook him awake. He woke with a start, pulling away from Rey almost violently. “What are you doing?” he demanded.

Rey was more than a little put off by his brusqueness, but she shoved it aside. She needed to get to the bottom of Ren’s nightmares. “Why are you having nightmares?”

Ren froze. He bit his lip and dropped his gaze to the bed underneath him. Rey reached for his hand and pulled it towards her. She rubbed the back of it with her thumb. She looked at him imploringly when he brought his eyes back up to hers. He withdrew his hand, gently this time, and sat up.

“Ben, are you still having nightmares about Snoke?” Luke asked.

Ren exhaled shakily. “Yes.” He looked away, as if he was embarrassed by his confession.

Or was he ashamed?

Rey’s curiosity got the better of her. “Who’s Snoke?” she blurted.

“He… he’s my master,” Ren began.

Rey’s brow furrowed. She couldn’t understand why his master would have him so scared. “There’s more to it, isn’t there? Ren, please, we’re trying to help you.”

“He- He’s haunted me ever since I was a child.”

Rey reached for his hand again. A sick feeling started churning in her stomach. She moved closer to Ren. “When did it start?”

“I-I don’t know. For as long I remember, he’s been there.” He paused to take a deep breath. “The nightmares happened less as I got older, but he never went away. He spoke to me when I was awake, telling me that my mother never cared about me, that my f-father was disgusted with me, that I could never be a Jedi.” Rey tightened her hand around Ren’s as he gulped. “I tried to ignore him. For years I thought I could shut him out and try to live a normal life. I tried seeking help, but I never knew how to tell anyone, so I gave up on getting rid of him.”

“That’s no way to live!” Rey exclaimed. Like she was one to talk. She’d grown up learning to fend for herself as a child, staving off predators of all sorts, waiting in vain hopes of her family coming back for her. She was plagued by nightmares of her parents leaving her, and spent her waking moments feeling unbearably lonely, but that was different from having a monster in her head, telling her awful things about the people she cares most about. Who had it worse was hard to tell and frankly irrelevant, what actually mattered was that Ren had endured awful things during his life and was just now coming forward. 

Another shaky breath. “I didn’t think I  _ could _ live any other way. I thought I would be stuck with him in my head for life, always trying to push out the things he told me.”   
“Why did you go to him?” There it was. Perhaps the most burning question.

His voice was flat. “I found out my family had been lying to me.” 

Rey was shocked. “What?” She turned her eyes to Luke.

“Ben,” Luke started. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but your mother insisted-”

“Why?!” Ren was furious now. “Why did Mother keep that from me? Did she think it would help me?”

“I don’t agree with her, but yes, she believed it would be better if you didn’t know.”

“Know what?” Rey asked, getting tired of being out of the loop. Understandable for family matters, but still annoying.

“My grandfather is Darth Vader.”

Rey seemed to stop breathing. She stared at Luke. “Y-your father was Darth Vader?”

Ren scoffed. “You were keeping that from her, too?”

Luke exhaled sharply. “I wasn’t keeping it from you, Rey. I thought I would have more time to teach you before I told you about my father.”

“When were you going to tell me?” 

“When I felt you were ready to prepare to fight Snoke, I was going to tell you about Dark side Force users, including my father. I honestly didn’t intend to keep that from you. I wanted to wait until I could properly teach you about it. It’s not exactly the best piece of information to give when introducing yourself.”

Rey turned back to Ren. “So you found out your family kept that from you. And then what?”

“I don’t know. I felt like my whole world had been shaken. I wasn’t thinking right when I turned to Snoke. Suddenly I believed everything he’d ever told me. My mother’s occupation with her job became intentional negligence. My father’s misunderstanding of my Force abilities turned into resentment. And the doubts he filled my head with became a self-fulfilling prophecy that I could never became a fully-realized Jedi. I turned to him, thinking I was gaining the teachings I needed, the understanding I yearned for, and instead, I lost everything.” His voice shook at the end as sobs wracked through his body.

He pushed on, his voice tinged with pain. “When I killed my f-f-father,-” Rey could see Luke clench his hand into a fist “-that was it. I couldn’t do it anymore. I thought I was going to lose my mother as well. And when I failed to bring you to Snoke,” Ren’s hand tightened around Rey’s, “I knew he was going to punish me. I gave up. I knew I had to get away. I couldn’t- I couldn’t take it anymore. I’d lost everything, and for what? A master who-who forces me to turn my back on the ones I care about? Who berates me for every little mistake? I’m done. But there’s nowhere I can go. And now he won’t leave me alone. I can block him out during the day, but at night, he won’t leave me alone. He’s making me suffer for leaving him.” He began crying in earnest. “It’s too late for me.”

Rey felt tears forming in her eyes. Any feelings of resentment she might have had over him pushing away the one thing she’d ever wanted, any hatred she might have felt over him killing Han Solo, vanished in that instant. This man, broken down by everything he’d had to endure in his life, feeling hopeless after it all, was not the monster she’d thought he was. He’d done terrible things, and there was no way to justify that, but he was also scared, hurt, and heartbroken. A monster didn’t love. But this man did. 

Rey curled up to his side, pulling his face towards her and tucking him into her neck, just like he was having a nightmare, and let him cry.

“U-uncle Luke, I’m so sorry, for everything,” he sobbed into Rey’s neck. 

Luke pulled Ren-  _ Ben _ away from Rey into a tight hug. “I’m sorry we couldn’t help you. I wish I’d known sooner how powerful Snoke was.” He pushed Ben back slightly to look into his eyes. “Your mother and I have always loved you. And so did Han. We were all so proud of who you were shaping up to be before you turned. There are many things I wish we could have done differently, I know Leia feels the same way, but we could never regret having you in our family. We love you, Ben. We’d do anything for you.”

Ben collapsed into his uncle’s arms. Tears began falling down Rey’s face.  _ This _ is what she’d always wanted, a family. Knowing that no matter how far she’d stray, she’d always have someone who loved her and would open their door to her. She hugged Ben from behind, hoping to help Luke comfort him. 

After Maker knows how much time had passed, Ben began to settle down. He finally turned to Rey. He timidly looked into her eyes as he spoke. “Rey?”

She gulped. “Yes Ben?”

He winced at the sound of his birth name coming from her lips but pressed on. “I- I’m sorry, for everything that transpired between us.”

“Ben, I-” she didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure she was ready to forgive him for everything. There was so much he had to atone for. But that could wait. He needed to be built back up before he could make anything right, and she wouldn’t stand in the way of his healing. “It’s going to be okay.”

He winced again. “H-how can you know that?”

“You’re here, with people who won’t turn their backs on you. You escaped the life that had you trapped, you moved past that fear to find something better.”

“I haven’t moved past any fear. I’m still terrified.”

“I was terrified when I gave up on waiting for my family. I was terrified when I came to Master Luke. I was terrified when I learned I could use the Force. And I’ve been terrified for you. But I haven’t given up. I’m still terrified, but I haven’t felt this hopeful in a long time. You, you made the first step, and that takes so much strength.” She took a deep breath. “If you need someone to believe in you,  _ I _ believe in you, Ben. And I’m sure Master Luke believes in you.” She grabbed his hand and intertwined her fingers with his. “We won’t give up on you.”

He looked down. “There’s nowhere I can go.”

Rey shot quick glance at Luke before turning her eyes back to Ben. She pulled his face up to her level, waiting for him to look her in the eyes.

“Stay with us.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the new leaks from the upcoming Aftermath: Empire's End novel, a lot of us Ben Solo supporters have had our speculations confirmed, that Snoke had been tormenting Ben ever since he was a fetus. So, the excitement of being right combined with the horror of being right about THAT inspired me to write this fic! I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
